When everything in your business still depends on you

Delegating something doesn't necessarily mean you've stopped carrying it

Someone else might be answering your emails, managing your social media or helping with your admin, but if you're still checking what's happening, remembering what needs doing, answering questions and approving everything, it hasn't really left your plate. You're still the person holding everything together.

When you've built a business yourself, I think that's an easy position to find yourself in. You know how everything works and you're used to being the person who remembers what needs to happen and when. Even when you bring in support, letting go of that responsibility can be much harder than simply handing over a task.

You can delegate and still be carrying everything

I've seen this happen many times over the years. A business owner knows they're too busy, so they get some help. On paper, they've delegated, but in reality they're still heavily involved in everything they've handed over.

They're checking the inbox even though someone else is managing it, reminding people about things that need doing, reviewing every detail or answering questions throughout the day.

The task might belong to somebody else, but if you still have to remember, manage and monitor it, you're still carrying the responsibility for making sure it happens. You've reduced some of the work, but you haven't necessarily reduced the amount you're carrying in your head.

Letting go isn't always easy

I understand why business owners find this difficult. When you've built something from the ground up, you've probably spent years being involved in every part of it. You know your clients, your systems and all the little details that make your business yours.

I wouldn't expect somebody to start working with me and immediately hand everything over.

When I start with a new client, I ask lots of questions. I want to understand how their business works, how they like things done, what's important to them and where they want to remain involved. Initially, I'll run more things past them because I'm still learning all of that.

Over time, I get to know what they prefer, what needs doing, what I can simply get on with and when I need to ask them. They don't have to explain everything each time because I've built up that knowledge of their business.

That's when they can really start to let go.

There's a difference between doing tasks and taking ownership

For me, good Virtual Assistant support isn't about waiting for a client to send me a list of things to do. I want to take responsibility for the things they've trusted me with so that they don't have to keep thinking about them.

With some of my clients, workshops are set up and the emails are ready without them having to remember to ask me. Their social media is created and scheduled, so it isn't sitting on their own to-do list.

For another client, I'm following up with leads, speaking to prospective clients and managing bookings while they're getting on with their work. I've also had clients where monthly products, upsells and website updates simply became things I looked after. They knew they would get done.

Individually, these might seem like fairly small things. But when you're no longer having to remember that the workshop needs setting up, the social media needs scheduling or somebody needs following up, that's a lot less to carry.

And importantly, the client isn't having to manage me while also trying to manage their business.

Trust takes time

None of this really works without trust, and I don't think you can force that.

One of my newer clients trusted me to look after things while she was away within our first week of working together. With other clients, it has taken longer before they've felt comfortable handing more over. Both are completely fine.

My job is to learn how they work and show them that the things they give me will be looked after properly. As that trust develops, they generally find themselves handing over more because they know I'll ask when I need their input and get on with things when I don't.

That doesn't mean they're losing control of their business. It's still their business and ultimately the decisions are theirs. They just don't need to be involved in every single thing that happens within it.

It's also about having someone in your corner

There's something else I've noticed after working with clients for a long time.

When you're running a business on your own, you don't necessarily have someone who understands it well enough to bounce ideas around with. You're making decisions by yourself and trying to work out the best way forward while also doing everything else.

Because I've run my own business for many years, clients will often ask what I think about something, talk through a new idea with me or ask whether I can see a better way of doing something. I might spot something we could streamline or suggest something they haven't considered.

I'm not there to make their decisions for them. But having somebody who knows the business and who you can say, "What do you think?" to can be incredibly valuable when you're used to figuring everything out by yourself.

That's a big part of what ongoing support means to me. I'm not just there to complete tasks. I become someone they know has their back.

You shouldn't have to hold everything

Ultimately, I want my clients to know they don't have to remember everything themselves.

I want them to be able to take a break without wondering what's being missed while they're away. I want them to know that somebody else understands what needs to happen and will keep things moving without waiting to be asked.

They still have control of their business. They just don't have to carry every part of it alone.

For me, that's what good support should feel like. You should be able to breathe, step away when you need to and trust that someone has it covered.

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TL;DR: Delegating tasks doesn't always reduce the mental load of running a business. If you still have to remember, check and manage everything you've handed over, you're still carrying the responsibility. The right support develops through trust, until someone can genuinely take ownership of parts of your business and you no longer have to hold everything yourself.

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If you're wondering what that kind of support can look like in practice, read The support business owners don't realise they need, where I explore how the most valuable support often goes far beyond simply ticking tasks off a list.

You might also enjoy Growing together: Five years of trusted support, Romy's client story about how our working relationship evolved as her business and life changed over more than five years.